Kitchen fung schway*

August 30, 2010 · 28 comments

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I’ve got a problem.

It’s my chee.** My kitchen chee. It’s all blocked up.

The facts:

  • When we first saw this house, the one we bought a few months ago and now reside within, I blogged about the experience here, namely the part wherein I fell back in love with the kitchen sink of our past.
  • When we first saw this house, the one we now reside within, I was quite taken with the kitchen. It had bright white cabinets. It had a nice dishwasher and refrigerator. It had a gas stove. I wasn’t crazy about the travertine floors or laminate countertops, but decided to embrace those flaws as “sacrifices***.”
  • When we moved into this house, and began washing dishes, I couldn’t help but feel a little trapped while standing before the beloved sink. Mind you, there was nothing behind me, and I wasn’t tied to the sink.
  • When our neighbors came by for a visit one night, and we discussed the manners in which the previous two owners made renovations and updates, they told us that the Owner-Before-Last decided to wall-in a kitchen window.
  • That window? The one that Owner-Before-Last walled-in? It was just above where my beloved kitchen sink now stands.

And further:

  • In our last house, I spent all my time in the kitchen. Granted, it was the brightest, most pleasant room in the house. but I always assumed it was because I just love being in kitchens.
  • Since we moved, I’ve spent less and less time in the kitchen. It’s not as bright. And there’s the mild claustrophobia.
  • Not only have I spent less time in the kitchen, but I haven’t really been enjoying cooking.
  • I haven’t been enjoying cooking.
  • I just wrote that.
  • Can someone get me a brown paper bag?

So, I’ve decided it’s the bad feng shui of our kitchen. I need that window back. I’m taking my cue from this example of good feng shui architecture, straight from the Wikipedia page:

I mean, if they can stick a giant hole in the middle of a building in Hong Kong, surely we can manage the same in our Midwest kitchen?

It’s now on the Ever-Growing List of house projects for the husband. The cabinets to the right will come down, the window will be cut back into the wall (the view being the peeling siding of our neighbor’s house), open shelves will be built. Natural light will enter the room from a third source, increasing my chances of daylighting. My chee will flow eastward as I scrub pots and pans.

What do you think? Will all my problems be solved? Will I fall back in love with cooking? Will I finally be happy?:


* Yes, I know. It’s really spelled feng shui. But I’m from the South & Midwest, and it just doesn’t seem quite authentic to spell it correctly, since what I’m writing about is probably a bastardization caricature of the true definition anyway.

** Ok, and YES. This one is really spelled qi. But how many people really know that? If I wrote that, wouldn’t most of you read “kee,” and not know what I mean? This blog is low-brow — you should know that by now.

*** Read: I am a spoiled Western brat.

**** Right again. This sketch does look eerily similar to the layout of my kitchen in Georgia. But what’s wrong with a little recycling?

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